THE EVOLUTION OF FRIENDSHIPS

NOTES ON A HIGH

BLACK GAWDESS RANTS

MOTIVATION WHEN YOURE LOW

Friendships are supposed to be that extra doorway you go through to seek extra balance and happiness, especially when life gives you more reasons to cry. There are many diverse types of friendships, some are distant where you speak occasionally, some are so close it’s where you lay your head and cry when life blows your mind. Some are all over the place, where most of the time you argue, fuss and fight, but still when things are good you go dancing and forget about the tough times. There are also friendships that fall apart for reasons beyond our control and separation seems to be your best option, but it does not mean you stop loving each other, you never know how the story could go, you may meet again along the roads. Whatever the dynamics of your friendships, be kind to them, but stay true to you, you should not pretend to be someone else to every single friend. Most importantly, you should not force others to be who you want them to be. If you both cannot be yourselves and soothe each other’s souls when the real world seems too cold, then learn to let go before the friendship grows old.

When I was young my closest friends were from school, as life on the home front was very bleak. I had a handful of friends who I considered family. I would spend a lot of time at one of my girlfriend’s houses with her sister and her mom. I remember many nights going there after school and hanging out playing and having dinner, it was a blessing from God to have them because there was usually no dinner or happiness at my house. To this day she is still one of my dearest friends, though distance separates us, we are still there for each other at the drop of a dime. She is in my heart and prayers always and is like a sister to me.

I had other friends in my neighborhood who were like little saviors of mine, we used to hang out under this big mango tree we had and those were the sweetest moments of my life, we would talk for hours, climb the tree, make up dances and just have lots of fun, immigrating brought much separation and we eventually grew into different people. Still, I hold them close to my heart and am still in touch with a few of them. Still the bonds we made will never fade because I hold true to those memories, as they were my sunshine when the reality of my home life blew my mind. I know if I picked up the phone and called, they would answer before it even rang!

In my older years I had met a few friends I built great bonds with especially through my job and those were the friends I went through the struggles of adulting with and as I grew to become the woman, I am today. They were the women who wiped my tears, as I ironically taught them how to be strong and to live each moment to the fullest!. Its so unbelievable to see that with each passing year we grew further apart, as other friendships and or relationships ripped the stability from among us, and we drifted further apart like abandoned ships. It brings me great sadness because  we don't talk, text nor see each other, but they take up space in my thoughts often. I will always love them and think of them fondly, as these were the friends that had my back as I too defended them with honor.

I almost forgot about college; I did not get a chance to make friends as I spent most of my college years running to class then running back to work. Responsibilities called and there was not much time to make friends, but I did bond with one person and to this day she is still my friend and I know she will also be in my life forever. 

The last type of friendship is rather trending these days, SOCIAL MEDIA. its the new way of communicating with friends, even family! Though its strange because we sometimes only communicate this way, not in person and not even a call or a text at times which is really sad. I was guilty of this as well, so I had to let it go to save my soul. Though its the new world and we get swept away into these empty types of friendships, it does not mean we should turn our backs on traditional forms of communication. I must admit some of us do make lasting bonds as not everyone on social media is faking it. I have met some amazing people who I will never forget though I am no longer on the socials, I am more present in my life. I spend more time encouraging those around me to keep in touch no matter how busy we get with life.

Friendships are interesting but not all of them were meant to last forever. Some people are destined to be apart of our lives for a very long time, while some friendships are just momentarily. The moral of the story, be kind to those who are kind to you, be a present friend so they can see your God given light shine through. Be mindful of the damage you do as well to your friendships, because sometimes " WE" may be the problem, and other times " THEY" may be the problem, for we are imperfect beings. Trust yourself to know that if you are destined to be in each others lives it will happen as long as you have infinite reasons to stay bonded, and are willing to do your part as the relationship works both ways. Always remember, never force it because that is toxic, and unhealthy. Your friendship though not perfect, it should be filled with some sweet harmony, so do not be afraid to let go of those that do not serve you well.